Letter to my dad about owning a business

This is a recent letter I wrote to my father. It's just a rambling thank you, really, but it relates directly to doing what we're doing with community acupuncture.

Hey Daddio.

 Thinking about you lots these days. 'Course it's partly because I'm trying to fit into my father suit
(with Amy 10 weeks or so away from giving birth). But, I've been thinking about you just as much because of work.

A couple things recently have been making me appreciate being a business owner, and reflect on the ways you were one. I think of my work as just doing acupuncture, and that it's as much about getting out of the way and letting the universe work as it is about filling up the space with some skill. And, our
whole way of inviting people in and doing our job is kind of about de-emphasizing the *Professional*, and highlighting the simple in what we're doing and the importance of the whole room of people. I
think of our business as an expression of this neighborhood and this city that I'm lucky enough to be able to work in the center of and get paid a little by.

In these ways, I usually think of myself more as an activist/acupuncturist* than as a business owner.
But, of course, it's true that Ellen and I DID start this business. And, we DO “own it”. Like you started and owned your architecture business, with your partners. I'm appreciating how your work, too,
was about putting together a bag of tools (technical and creative) from teachers both contemporary and ancient and then learning how to use them to get out of the way and let humans do what they do best in
their own skins and shelters.

When I was a boy, your owning a business looked attractive because you clearly loved what you were
doing. You loved the people you got to work with. It looked like they really loved you. I had no idea how hard you worked, or really how little money you were actually making given the work you were doing,
because we were eating and I loved my family and friends, and life was good. You seemed to know everyone in the city. I remember you running into the mayor and talking to him. I also remember running
around at ribbon cutting ceremonies or during constructions at new health centers and renovated schools while you talked to neighbors or a school custodian.

At the time I didn't know the kind of struggles you faced as someone trying to create quality affordable
housing and health facilities in the same areas which were slated by the city for “slum clearance” in the long, institutionally-racist aftermath of the civil rights era. I just enjoyed running amok with
other kids and being around hopeful adults. Now, I know the kids I swung and spun with on a playground on the Near Northside were the children of Panthers and other activists, the same folks who stood
with you in that same spot 5 or 6 years before listening to Bobby Kennedy bring news of MLK's assasination, and trying not to explode.

We've got our work cut out for us, too, 40 years later. And, I'm glad I've found (largely because of your
modeling of how to connect with people who want to do something big) a growing group of people committed to justice and ending classism and racism in their own lives.

But, sometimes I forget, probably like you did, that what I'm doing makes a difference. Sometimes, I'm just working. I spend 10 minutes or less with every returning patient and 20 with every new patient, before they fall off to relaxation. The room is usually full of people. So, if people want to show some kind
of appreciation, they have to figure out how to do it with a facial expression or a few short whispered words. Yesterday, though, my first patient was really early and my next two were very late, so
there I was taking my time with my first patient. And, she started thanking me. I've been treating her for 2 years, and we've built up a lot of trust between us, so I decided to go ahead and try to really
listen to her appreciations until she was done.

She kept going for 15 minutes. And, none of it was fluff. She said very specific things about the skills
she noticed me using and the ways the clinic was changing her life. I'm doing better these days at getting over my feeling that I'm not good enough. Interactions like these help, when, sometimes, just the
facts of people's healing don't convince me. I CAN tell sometimes that my treatments are getting better and better. I can almost always tell that what we are offering as an experience is radically good.

It's been a sweet time in the clinic. As an expectant father, it's really great that I'm getting to treat
so many women who are getting pregnant and having babies. We're getting shown a lot of appreciation by the moms who are having natural birthing experiences with help form the acupuncture. Lots of
baby visits at the clinic these days.

I think we're doing great reaching all kinds of people. We do seem to struggle to retain working class black men as returning patients. We'll keep trying to figure out what we can do differently, but, of course, it's mostly about what our own social networks look like, and mine is still pretty white. I DO like
being forced to look at racism in my own life.

Another thing I'm appreciating right now is how many older Jews I'm treating. I've been trying to
consciously remember that I'm treating the survivors of the holocaust. I'm honored that I get trusted to this extent with all of my patients, but it feels somehow even more significant with this
older generation of Jewish folks. I'm treating a man whose main complaint is his high blood pressure. To have his wife thank us for “working miracles” with him, and how “he's a different person”
to be around, well, that's something. This guy was recommended to us by his wife. He then researched everything about us, including the namesake of an award I received for my graduating class. Turns out
he knows someone who knows the person after whom my award was named. And, even though that individual had absolutely nothing to do with the anonymously given award, and is apparently more a UFO specialist than an acupuncturist these days, it's still a connection, and thats
what counts.

You always said to me that it's all about just knowing people and creating good will. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about your work. I want to get together before the baby comes and have you
remind me of all the projects you worked on over the years, and all the people with whom you worked. Thank you for all the good you helped create and the healing you helped happen in your city.

*Check out this tiny little interview with a current acupuncturist/activist talking about
grassroots community healthcare in the 60s and 70s.

Comments

[Cedrick Niemitzio]

That's actually a very thought-provoking letter. I wonder if I could write that for my own dad. I think he'll be proud of me when I establish my own business, since it was his dream to have one. It's my way of fulfilling it for him.